Death, Despair, and Depression
by TheBreeze13
Summary: Sequel to 'Together'. Clove and Katniss still love each other deeply, but how will the Quarter Quell affect them? Rated T for implied sexual abuse, abuse, violence, and torture (Not Explicit). If this triggers you, then please don't read.
1. In The Beginning

_Skipping the Victory Tour because, let's be honest, it's very boring. Sequel to 'Together'. Might want to read that first. Everything will be written in Clove POV._

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 1**

"And the theme for the 75th annual Hunger Games and the 3rd Quarter Quell is," President Snow pauses to draw a slip and open the envelope,"The tributes shall be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

My face pales and I risk a glance at where Katniss was standing only seconds ago. I'm confused at first before I realize that she probably went over to Haymitch's house. She has been getting closer and closer to the drunk and I was starting to get jealous of the man. Even though I know that I have no reason to be.

I attempt to stand, but fail miserably. I realize just as I fall back onto the couch that Katniss will be in the games for sure, but since I'm from district 2 I will have many people to take my place. I attempt once more to stand before finally getting over my weak knees and running out of the house into the brisk, winter air. I can see my breathe as I stride across the lawn towards the putrid, smelly house. I pull open the door and slam it shut behind me.

"Katniss!" I call into the 'house'. If you can call it that. I peak behind a door and crinkle my nose at the strong smell in the room. I decide that that's the best place to look because the strongest smell always comes from where Haymitch is. I step slowly, cautiously into the room that I quickly decide is the living room. Katniss nor Haymitch is there, but there are broken wine bottles littered across the floor and the flat screen has an extensive amount of damage done to it. I'm guessing Haymitch had a fit.

I sigh and do my best not to step on the broken glass, but it proves useless. The glass crunches under my combat boots as I walk across the room. I go through the closest door, which leads to the kitchen. There I find my girlfriend, I loved that word, sitting across from Haymitch at the table. I watch from a distance as the drunk man hands my Katniss a wine bottle. I'm seething now, but what makes me even more mad is that Katniss accepts it and takes a chug. I stride across the filthy kitchen and snatch the bottle away from the brunette, making her choke as she was in mid-chug.

"No more moping." I state as I drain the wine, I assume, into the sink. Katniss pouts at me and Haymitch scowls.

"I wasn't done with that." Both of them say at the same time, causing Katniss to burst into a fit of giggles. Yep, she was drunk. I sigh and pull her up from the chair.

"How much of that have you had?" I hiss at her.

She giggles again, but doesn't attempt to get away. "Enough."

I growl and pull her across the room to the ajar door. "We start training at sunrise. Be ready." I say turning and giving Haymitch a pointed glare.

I give Katniss's arm a yank and she falls into step behind me, her arms crossed in front of her chest. And an adorable pout across her face. I yank her through the living room, but it turns out she didn't have any shoes on and I earned a couple yelps of pain as the glass sunk into her feet. I instantly feel guilty, but I am not stopping to bandage the wounds in this house.

I pick her up and carry her, bridal style, out of the room, the front door, and finally into the cold.

"My feet hurt," She complains,"and they're cold too." She adds as almost an after thought.

"Wait just a minute and I'll get you inside, into the warmth, and I'll get your feet bandaged up."

She seems to be in deep thought before happily exclaiming,"Okay!"

I snort quietly and shake my head. She's acting like that girl, what was her name, on this show I once saw while flicking through the tv. OH! Her name was Cat. She was acting like Cat.

I carry her into the house, letting out a grunt when she started to wiggle.

"Stop moving or I'm going to drop you."

This caused her to still. She looks up at me with the most adorable puppy dog eyes, even though they are a bit glazed due to drunkness. I stare right back into them, trying my hardest to look like a puppy. I earn a small smile for my effort. Katniss tries to lean in to give me a kiss, but I dodge her.

"Nope! Not until I bandage your feet and your done being drunk!" I say with a small laugh before running into the bathroom. And I mean full-out running. Katniss squeals in surprise when I initially take off, but then resorts to just gripping my shirt tightly. I look down at her when I reach the bathroom. She lets out a small huff of air, causing me to chuckle. She crinkles her nose and I crinkle mine back at her. We stare into each others eyes and for a moment, however short that may be, I forget about the Quarter Quell and the fact that I will probably be dead in the next few weeks. She seems to get lost as well.

I finally break off the moment when I fell blood drip onto my leg. I set Katniss down, gently, onto the toilet and bend down to exam her wounds. I sigh when I realize how much _I _had just hurt her. I reach up to hold her hand while my other hand works to pry out the largest piece of glass. She hisses a few times, but overall she does a good job. I work on her feet for about another half hour until I get all the shards out and then bandage them.

Soon we are in bed staring into the others eyes, but our minds are else where. At least mine is anyways. I know I'm going into the games to protect Katniss so I'll most likely have to volunteer. The realization hits me that I'll be taken away from Katniss for the reaping. This realization causes me to bolt straight up in bed, making my girlfriend jump.

"What's the matter, Clovey?" She asks. Nope, not drunk. Dammit. I have explain myself.

I huff. "They're going to have to take me away from you for the reaping." I say looking away from Katniss. We had become each others coping mechanism. I wasn't sure if I could function properly with out Katniss by my side. When I finally look over at her, I regret saying anything. Her eyes are wide and she looks afraid.

"They can't do that." She denies. Shaking her head she mumbles about how they can't do that.

I grab her shoulders. "Be strong. I don't know how long, but they will have to do it. I'll I have to stay with my-" I gulp and Katniss growls somewhere deep in her throat. The growl actually manages to scare me more than the threat of staying with my father. "I'll find somewhere to stay." I end deciding not to continue down that path.

"He. Will. NOT. Touch you." Katniss spits out. "If I have to hire a couple of men follow you around to protect you, by god Clove, I will." She hisses and growls at the same time.

My eyes soften and my heart melts. She loves me so much that she would do that. I glance up at her, for the first time realizing that she's taller than me. I giggle.

"Clove, that's not funny." Katniss says biting back a laugh herself. I break into hysterics. So does Katniss.

"It's. Not. That." I managed in between bouts of laughter. I wipe a few tears from my eyes after I get ahold of myself. Katniss seems calm now, too.

"Then what is it?" Katniss asks a hint of a giggle still in her voice.

"I realized that your're taller than me." I say.

She raises an eyebrow. "And that caused you to start crying with laughter beacuse...?"

I shrug. "Just did."

"Okay, well I'm going to get some sleep. Did you know we have training tomorrow at sunrise?" She asks with her most serious face.

I playfully punch her arm. "I'm going to get some too."

We both lay down in a spooning position. "Good night, Katniss. I love you."

"G'night Clove. Love you, too." She says, yawning at the end.

I sleepily smile. I let my eyes close themselves and before drifting off I form the same plan as I had in the last games. Save Katniss.

_Enters Dream:_

"Hello?" I ask into darkness. "Hello?"

I turn around and around, but everywhere around me is just darkness. Somehow I know that someone's there with me. I feel a pair of arms snake around my waist. I spin around.

"Katniss?" I ask. I take in her facial features and realize that something is wrong. Her face begins to contort into a odd shape. I reach my hands up to try and fix it, but every time I get close enough to touch her face I receive a small shock and my hand is sent flying backwards. I watch in silence as her face becomes President Snow's.

"Hello, Clove." President Snow says to me. "Are you ready for the Quarter Quell? We made it extra special for Katniss." He smirks as a mask of horror falls across my face. "She will die..." Are the last words he utters to me before the scene before my eyes changes.

No longer is Katniss standing in front of me or Snow for that matter, but my own father. He smirks at me, the same smirk he _always _wore. ALWAYS. It frightened me more than it normally would have. Katniss is making me soft. "I hear your staying with me for a while. "

His clammy hands grab my small waist. He looks down into my eyes. "Thought maybe we could. Have some fun." His smirk widens along with my eyes. I let loose a loud scream and thrash out of his grip.

"Never," Is the last word I utter to him before the dream fades and I wake.

_Exits Dream:_

I wake in Katniss's arms.

"I love you." Is the only thing she says before nodding off again.

I kiss her atop the head. "I love you too, Kat."

I fall back asleep, this time only good dreams making an appearance.

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_Thanks for reading!_

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	2. Uh-Oh

_Still in Clove POV_

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 2**

"G'morning Clove." Katniss says with a yawn. I open my eyes reluctantly and am pleasantly surprised to find that no light is streaming in. I sigh contently and stretch my sleepy limbs.

"I made you breakfast." My Katniss says before moving around to the other side of our bed and opening the curtains quickly, causing light to flood the room. I groan.

"Kat, turn off the lights." I groan at her. She smiles and I duck my head beneath the covers.

"Breakfast?" She asks, knowing what that one question could do. **(A/N: That was what Katniss asked Clove at the end of 'Together'. It was after their heart to heart about Clove's father.)**

I sigh. "Whadyou make?" I ask sleepily, peaking up at her. She grins.

"Come on, an you'll see." She says shifting herself. She leans over the bed right in my face and says. "Time's a wasting."

I smack her with my pillow. "I thought that was gonna be something good!" She chuckles, my favorite sound in the whole world, and begins to prod my sides. "Ahg! That tickles!" I manage through laughs. I flail around the bed making Katniss go into a laughing fit. She laughs so hard that small tears appear in her eyes. I rub my ribs and playfully glare at her. "That's not funny." I grumble.

She wipes the tears out of her eyes. "Of course not, Clove. I just had something in my eye. Like a twig or a branch, you know?" I give a small snort of amusement at her statement and then clamber out of bed.

"Shower?" I ask. She stops giggling at her own joke.

She points to the bathroom door. "You know where the shower is, silly Clovey." She bites her lip, holding in laughter.

I raise an eyebrow and huff at her. "I'm taking a shower now." I say, gathering up my stuff and closing and locking the bathroom door. l quickly strip down and turn the water on, keeping it warm. I step into the luxurious shower and throw my head back, allowing the water to massage my scalp. That's when all my thoughts and fears come crashing into me like a escaped coal car.

There's just something about showers that do that to you. You think in the shower. Damn, the last thing I should be doing is thinking. However, the thoughts of the days to come still invade my mind. I finish up in the shower and dress myself. Taking the steps two at a time, I run down to get my breakfast. When I reach the kitchen I notice something is off. The smell of bacon and eggs is strong and it makes me hum with delight. I need to act natural, my brain informs me. I skip into the kitchen to see Mrs. Everdeen standing over a sizzling pan with to eggs in it. There's also two peacekeepers sitting around the dining room table. Katniss is there too. She's frowning at her toast.

I walk over and sit next to Katniss. I try to break the silence with a joke. "I thought you told me _you_ made me breakfast?" Katniss looks up from her toast and smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. I know something is really wrong now because she would have normally made a retort. I pout and thank Katniss's mom when she sets down my food. I eat my breakfast, trying not to be disturbed or creeped out by the peacekeepers that seem to insist on staring at me the entire time. No one says anything for the rest of the meal.

I stand abruptly to put my now empty plate in the dishwasher. Katniss follows suit. When we reach the kitchen, it's in a different area than the dining room, I grab the brunettes arm and pull her to the side. In a hushed whisper I ask her, "Do you know why their here?"

She frowns at me. "I think." Then she turns on her heel and strides away. She puts her plate in the sink and then turns around to look at me. Her eyes lock with mine. They tell me all I need to know. It's time for me to go.

"Goodbye, Kat. See ya later." I whisper just loud enough for her to hear. She smiles softly at me.

"Bye, Clovey." She starts to walk away but doubles back. "Don't get hurt." She adds with a furious face. I throw my hands in the air, surrendering. My girlfriend turns and walks away. I can't help, but think that I love the way her hips move. I snort at my thoughts and shake my head. A peacekeeper voice behind me startles me. I jump.

"It's time to go Miss Caraway." The cool, clipped voice chirps.

"Of course." I say, breathlessly.

I allow the peacekeepers to lead me to the train station. I ignore the people giving me curious glances or even pitying looks. Like they even know what's going on! One young boy even tries to get close to me, but one of the peacekeepers hits him with his baton. I hiss at the peacekeeper and push past him to get to the boy, who has a bloody nose and is crying. I gently pick him up and carry him over to his mother. She looks worried, but doesn't want to go near the peacekeepers. That's understandable. I examine his nose. It's not broken. I hand him off to his mother who thanks me. I watch her head towards the town center. The peacekeepers continue to push me towards the station. When we get there they half throw me onto the train. Turds.

I pick myself off the ground and brush imaginary dirt off my shirt. I'm in a train car, but it's not very luxurious. Not fit for a victor, that's for damn sure. I guess my district hates me. That's obvious. During the victory tour they stared both me and Katniss down. I look around the car. No entrance, no exit. It has all black walls and no furniture. Just a box. I huff and throw myself onto the ground. This should be fun.

Good thing I have my knife on me. I pull it out of my jackets pocket and throw it at the wall. _Thunk, Dun, Dun. _Guess the walls are metal. A peacekeepers opens a small door in the wall that I didn't notice before and retrieves my knife off the ground. He shakes his head no at me and then returns to where ever he came from.

Just great. A 12 hour ride with no form of entertainment. Yay.

I hit my head softly against the cold wall again and again. I throw my head into my hands and reflect on what day it is. How long until the reaping? Where am I going to stay? They'll probably force me to stay with my dad. How long can I fend him off? I frown at that thought. I'm a victor of the Hunger Games, I can do this.

I don't know when or how, but I fall asleep. I'm awoken by the abrupt stopping of the train. My body is thrown against the wall and I groan. Light floods into the car and I'm dragged out by my shoulders. The peacekeeper that grabbed me throws me out and laughs softly at my groan of pain. I prop myself up on my elbows and take a look at my surroundings. The Justice Building.

"Go home now. The reaping commences tomorrow at noon." The peacekeepers informs me. I scamper away. Where am I going to stay? I can sleep on the streets. No! I have the perfect spot. I take off down the road towards the tree house my dad built for me in the better days. I stop when I reach the building. It looks just the same as it always has. I take my time climbing the rope ladder up to the high in the sky tree house. It's built in the tallest tree in the small forested area inside the fence. When I reach the top I am greeted with the smell of peanut butter and juice. It smells like it used to too!

I close my eyes and inhale the scent, enjoying my early childhood memories. But then my teenage memories decide to intrude, in a very real way.

"Hello, Clovey. Heard you'd be staying here for awhile. Thought maybe we could have some fun."

My eyes snap open. They meet a set of the same colored eyes.

_Well, shit. _

* * *

_Sorry for the cliffhanger. I couldn't resist. _

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	3. Let's Do This!

_Have got to solve the cliffie for y'all _

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 3**

_"Hello, Clovey. Heard you'd be staying here for awhile. Thought maybe we could have some fun."_

_My eyes snap open. They meet a set of the same colored eyes._

_Well, shit._

"Surprised to see me here?" My father asks. He tilts his head sideways. "Did you hate our alone times so much that you became a lesbian?" He chuckles softly. "That girl doesn't love you right. Anyone can see that."

"Katniss loves me!" I yell at him. I'm sick of him and his games. I reach for my knife. My hand comes out of my pocket with nothing. I have no way to defend myself. My face pales. I guess my panic shows on my face because my father laughs.

"She used you, Clove."

"The only one who used me was you." I spit at him. I mentally congratulate myself for the come back.

He growls. "I loved you, Clove."

"Not the way a father should love his daughter." I say. I look around the structure for something, anything to throw at him. He chuckles and smirks.

"You can't escape me now." He charges at me, taking me off guard. He tackles me backwards, almost sending me flying out of the tree house. I struggle underneath him trying to get out of his grasp. "No, no, Clovey. Not this time. You killed your mother. You must pay."

I let loose a groan of frustration. His hand moves from my arm down to under my shirt. Crap. I go into a full out panic. Think. I have one free arm. There must be something in this damned tree house that I can hit him with. I throw my head back looking for something that I can reach. Ah, ah! There's a metal baseball bat behind me, leaning against the wall. I reach my arm back. Damn. It's just out of reach. My father is now trying to unbutton my pants.

I begin to squirm towards the wall. If I can just reach that bat. My fingertips graze the bat. So close. I squirm a little more. This is taking too much time. He has now managed to get my jeans down and is working on his belt. There's my chance. While he's distracted with his belt I make the last squirm I need and grab hold of the bat.

"Clovey, what are you-" He's cut short by a baseball bat to the head. I stand up and pull up my pants. I keep hold of the bat. Never know when you might need it. I'm shaking pretty bad, now. I'm really, actually afraid. I look around the tree house hoping to find a knife. No luck. It seems I've spent too much time here. My father is stirring.

I begin to climb down the rope ladder when I hear my father begin to speak. "I'll get her."

Her? Who could he possibly mean? My eyes widen. "Her?" I croak back at him.

"Herrr," He mumbles.

"You will not hurt Katniss!" I yell at him, but he's already out cold. I want to kill him, but even I'm not messed up enough to kill my own father, no matter what he did to me. I sigh and descend down the ladder. Where am I going to stay now?

It doesn't really matter. I'm nothing. I trudge through the forested area until I come to the slums. That's what we call the poorer area of district 2. I slump down on one of the closest buildings and cry softly into my hands. Of course it has to start pouring rain. How cliche. I cry until I have no more tears left. And then I sleep.

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I am awoken by the light streaming through the trees. I moan and shift my aching body. Sleeping slumped a building isn't good for your back. I grab my bat and stand up slowly. My clothes are drenched and torn. I peak through the window of the house to look at the time.

11:50.

Damn! I need to hurry. 10 minutes until the reaping. I have to be there to volunteer! I take off down the back streets towards the Justice Building. I run past crowds of people trying to get a good look at who will be representing them. I can faintly hear our district escort saying something. I'm almost there!

"As always, ladies first!" The green haired man exclaims. I can see as he draws a name from the bowl.

"Lyme-" He doesn't get another word out before I begin yelling.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" I raise my hand into the air and the crowd parts for me to make my way through to the stage.

"Looks like we have a volunteer. Can we get an applause?!" The man says happily.

The crowd begrudgingly cheers.

"Alright then. Onto the boys!" The green goblin skips over to the left bowl and wastes no time in choosing a slip.

"Brutus." He calls out. The man makes his way to the stage.

"Alright, now shake hands." Brutus refuses to shake my hand so I stomp towards the train station and allow the peacekeepers to take it from there. I reach our train and step inside a large car. At least it's better than the last car I had.

It's not exactly beautiful, but it will do. I find the food in a fridge and help myself. The train takes off soon after I'm finished eating my meal. I click on the small TV they provided for me and find Victorious. It's an okay show. Jade is my favorite character.

I zone out when Cat begins rambling on about her brother and begin to think about Katniss. I wonder how her reaping went. I know she's in the games.

The program is cut short when the recap of the reapings come on. I watch as Gloss and Cashmere are chosen from district 1. Then the screen switches to district 2. I hear myself screaming on screen and the camera pans over to find the source. I wince when I see myself. I look like a orphan. My hair is dirty and drenched and my clothing is torn and drenched. I look like I came straight out of a horror movie. The camera goes extremely close up and I watch as a couple tears leave my eyes. I didn't cry! Did I?

I pout at the screen until district 12 comes up. I watch Effie struggle to get Katniss's name out of the bowl and then a single tear runs down her cheek when she calls her name. Katniss looks bad too. Her hair is messy and her face is dirty. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. I guess she really couldn't function. I almost begin to cry when Effie bursts into tears as she calls Haymitch's name.

The man looks like he cleaned up for once. I can only watch as he takes Effie's chin tells her it's going to be alright and then... He kisses her? I'm not the only surprised one. Katniss looks at them like she's just seen a unicorn and the crowd whispers among themselves. Haymitch pulls away and smiles at the crowd. He ends the reaping with possible my favorite line I've heard from him.

"Let's do this!"

* * *

_Hooray for Hayffie! _

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	4. See Ya In Hell!

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 4**

I pulled an all-nighter last night. I couldn't sleep without Katniss. So I stayed up watching whatever show was on. Apparently, all the TV shows are from the 2000's. The people all looked normal back then.

Now I was sitting at the small dining room table my district had provided for me. I reach for the jam and begin to spread it on my toast with a butter knife. I keep the knife in my hand and stick the toast into my mouth, sticking halfway in and halfway out. Suddenly the door on the train car is open and my district escort stands before me. He raises his hands into the air slowly. I raise my eyebrow before realizing that I am holding the knife to his throat. I set the knife down on the table and grab the toast out of my mouth.

"What?" I ask in mid-chew. What's the point of manners now that I'm going to die.

"I just came to say that we will be at the Capitol soon. Your prep team and stylist will arrive soon after. Isn't it a marvelous day?"

I snort. "Your Capitol accent is _most _annoying. Now get out of here before I actually cut you with this knife." I say gesturing towards the knife and attempting to copy his accent.

He backs away and skips out of the car. I guess I really need some sleep. That was crabby, even for me. I sigh and begin to swallow my toast. The train jerks, causing me to fall out of my chair.

"Stupid train," I mutter, pulling myself back up.

A voice over some kind of intercom speaks the obvious,"We have arrived at the Capitol. Have a lovely day."

I mutter all the way to the door and step into the Capitol. I walk down the 'red carpet' with peacekeepers all around me to keep the rowdy Capitol people away. I manage to push some of them too. I smirk at one of the rowdier ones who I shove to the ground. Two peacekeepers then grab my arms and force me into the building. I look down at myself and realize that I'm still wearing the same ripped clothes from the reaping. I begin to howl with laughter. I don't care if they think I'm crazy. The peacekeepers lead me to the training room.

I raise an eyebrow. "Already?"

The peacekeeper nods. "We hurrying the games along this time, m'am."

"Oh, a peacekeeper with actual manners. Thank you for actually giving me information. Most of you guys just beat people senseless."

The peacekeepers gives me a curt nod before turning to leave. I grab his arm. "Wait. What's your name?"

"Ario." The peacekeeper tells me. "I must go now." He turns and strides away.

"See you in hell!" I yell across the training room. He gives me a salute and I swear I can see him smiling through his helmet. Cool. I walk around the barren training room and stop at the knife station. I shrug. Might as well.

I grab hold of the closest knife and begin a merciless assault on the dummies. I throw knife after knife, unaware of the growing crowd of tributes around me. After I run out of knives I turn around, surprised to see a huge crowd of tributes behind me. Only district 12 is missing. They are the last to arrive. I frown and attempt to shoo the tributes away.

"Go on! Stop your ogling!" I yell. Some of the tributes scatter, but most stay. "What?" I ask with a sigh.

Whispers begin and I part the crowd. I just want to see my Katniss. I am about to open the doors when the open from the other side, hard. They hit me smack in the face, sending me to the floor. I groan and rub my face.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" I try to joke. I don't even know who hit me yet.

"Clove, you look awful." A familiar soft voice says. I peak up at Katniss with one eye.

"Thank you. I have been getting so many compliments today. I did my hair a little differently." I say still on the ground. "You like?" I ask, modeling my hair.

She chuckles. "What happened? Are you okay?" She asks worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm good. Some reckless person hit me with a metal door." She helps me off the ground.

"No, I mean, what happened to you before the reaping? You looked just as bad then."

I shuffle my feet and look to the ground. "Nothing."

Silence.

"What did he do!?" She yells, drawing the attention of all the tributes. I pinch her lips shut and, blushing furiously I address the confused tributes.

"We're practicing for a play." I say. "Get back to it."

They shrug and go back to whatever.

I unpinch her lips and grab her arm. I lead her to a secluded corner. "Nothing to worry about, Kat."

She raises her eyebrow and studies me. "Really? Cause it looks like it."

I sigh. "Okay, he tried something, but I won that battle. I went to stay at my childhood tree house and he was there. He tried to, but I hit him with a baseball bat. I'm fine. I was only so dirty because I had to sleep outside in the rain." I hastily try to explain.

I don't realize that I'm shaking until Katniss places a hand on my shoulder. "Clove."

"No, I'm okay. I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. Let's go train. Come on. I'm okay. I'm fine."

"Clove." She tries again.

"No, I'm fine."

"Clove!" She yells. None of the tributes care to look this time.

"What?"

"Your rambling and shaking. I can see it scared you more than your letting on."

I draw a shaky breath. "The only reason it scared me so much is because he threatened you."

She laughs a little. "I think I can handle him. _We _can handle him."

"Alright, let's do this!" I say.

Katniss laughs. "You actually watched my reaping?"

I nod. "I'm guessing you didn't know about the Haymitch/Effie thing?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "It's a little weird to think about." She shudders.

"Speaking of Haymitch, where is he?" I ask.

Katniss bites her lip. "He's in trouble. Hit a peacekeeper with a wine bottle."

I snort and then begin to laugh. "Gotta love that Haymitch." I shake my head. "Come on, let's go train." I offer her my hand and she takes it. "Go get your bow. I already showed off with the knives."

Katniss smiles and nods. She heads over to the bow area and steps into the digital world. A crowd quickly gathers. I smirk, watching her kill all of her 'enemies' with ease. She steps out and smirks at the crowd before sauntering over to me and throwing her arm over my shoulder. We walk through the double doors, very aware of the eyes on our backs. We are for sure going to get some allies.

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"You did good." Haymitch says pacing the room while me and Katniss relax on the couch.

"How so?" I ask, not really paying attention.

"More than half of the tributes want you as allies."

I smirk. "So do we get a pick?"

Haymitch shrugs. "See anyone you want?"

He has Katniss's full attention now. "I did."

"Who?" Haymitch asks.

"Wiress and Beetee." I glance at her.

"From 3?" I ask disbelievingly.

Haymitch seems to be in the same state of shock, but recovers quickly. "Anyone else?"

"Mags." She says. I face-palm. "And you, Haymitch, of course!" She adds.

"What about you, sugar?" Haymitch turns his attention to me. I smirk at him.

"I was thinking Finnick. He seems like an alright guy. And maybe Johanna from 7. She's got an attitude, we could use that." I say.

Haymitch nods his approval. "I like the way you think." He turns to Katniss. "I'm favoring her from now on." He says gesturing to me.

Katniss frowns and sticks her tongue out at him. Haymitch nods to us and them exits the room.

"Mags?" I ask Katniss again.

She pouts at me. "She's good at making fish hooks."

I chuckle a little. "Whatever you want, sweetheart." I say trying to sound like Haymitch.

She gives me a glare. "Knock that off."

"Okay." I say. "Sweetheart."

"Stop!" She playfully swats me. We laugh and tickle each other in our own little bubble.

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"Those girls have to go home." Haymitch says to the figure. "You have to save both of them."

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises. It's hard enough to get just the one girl." The figure says.

"You better try." Haymitch points a finger at the figure. "They need each other. I could care less about myself. Get them. And take care of my Effie."

The figure sighs. "Alright, Haymitch."

* * *

_Haymitch is pretty awesome. Can't wait to get to the arena. Thank Mother Nature and Snow for this update. No school because of snow. _

**Please leave reviews! :)**


	5. Silence

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 5**

I shake Katniss and only earn a muffled groan in response. I lean down into her ear.

"Come on we have to train, Kat..." I whisper and breath down her neck, causing her to shiver.

"Stop..Clovey. I want ta sleep.." She grumbles.

"Well, that's too bad.." I say while planting a few kisses here and there.

Katniss yawns and rolls over to face me. "Do we have ta?" She asks with her eyes still closed.

"Yep."

The brunette groans and flips out of bed. Katniss turns on the lamp and I lay in bed watching her rush to get ready. She pauses and sends me a curious glance before taking in my appearance. Katniss shrugs and continues her rushing around. I had already gotten ready about an hour before. I had woken up from a nightmare. A few minutes later, Katniss is ready to go. I stop to wake up Haymitch before we leave.

When I get into Haymitch's room, I'm surprised to see another form sleeping besides him. I step slowly into the room and gently prod Haymitch awake. He wakes with a start. He flings his arms around and manages to land a good smack on my face. The sound echos around the room.

I land with a thud on the floor, my face showing my surprise. The figure bolts straight up besides Haymitch and takes in the situation.

"Shhh... Haymitch... Calm down.." The voice coos.

In a matter of seconds Katniss is in the room besides me, glaring daggers at Haymitch. I'm still in a surprised shock. I'm sure my face will bruise.

"I'll go get some ice." Katniss states and stands to get me ice.

"No." Haymitch says, seemingly having found his senses. "It'll make her look strong, like she got into a scrap with another tribute."

Katniss sighs and helps me up.

"Who's that?" I ask pointing to the women laying besides Haymitch.

"Why dear, don't you recognize me? It's Effie."

"Ooooh yeah.. Forgot about that. You look different without a wig on."

"Oh dear, do I look bad?" Effie says eyes darting around to find her wig.

"No, it's a good different."

Effie smiles and thanks me.

Katniss gives Haymitch one last glare before dragging me into the elevator. Once in I press the lobby button and the elevator groans. I raise my eyebrow and click the button again. I'm starting to get nervous when the elevator doesn't work. I begin to breath heavily and press the lobby button over and over again. I break a sweat and tell myself to think. I press the 'Open Doors' button, but again, nothing happens.

I go into a panic. I can't breath. I can't breath. My vision begins to go black and I think I'm going to pass out when slender hands wrap around me and lay me down on the floor. The arms put my head between my knees. Katniss coos to me.

I breath in and out. In and out.

I hear a faint ding and hear voices, but I don't respond.

I'm not moved until about 20 minutes later. I finally come to my sense and fight the arms around me.

"Don't touch me!" I yell. The arms release me and I fall to the floor. I stand and brush myself off. I glance around and spot the owner of the arms. A peacekeeper stands in front of me. "Where's Katniss?" I ask a little more calmly.

The peacekeeper chuckles, surprising me. "You are feisty." I squint at the peacekeeper. I know that voice from somewhere. Suddenly it hits me.

"Ario!" I shout with a grin.

"You remember me!" Ario says, taking off his helmet. I get a glimpse at the man for the first time. He's handsome. He has longer blonde hair and olive eyes. His skin is tan, but not overly tan.

"District 4?" I ask. It's a guess.

The man seems to be taken aback. "Your good, girl. That's impressive. How'd you tell?" I shrug, not really wanting to explain myself.

"I was sent by Haymitch." Ario tells me, dropping his voice.

"Haymitch?" I ask.

He nods and looks around before turning back to me. "Look, I'm only telling you this because I trust you, but we're busting you guys out of the arena. You can't tell anyone. Not even Katniss."

I frown. "So, I need a plan?" I ask.

Ario shrugs and pulls his helmet back over his head. "Figure it out." He says before striding away. I sigh and head in the general direction of the training room. After about 10 minutes of searching, I discover the training room. I step into the double doors and find Katniss.

Katniss and I work on training for the next few hours and when we're finished my arms ache. I link my arm with Katniss's and we get back into the elevator. Neither of us mention the panic thing.

Just before the doors close, Haymitch stumbles in. The doors are almost closed when a small hand stops them. Johanna Mason. She steps into the elevator and the doors close. She begins to strip out of her clothing. The elevator music makes it all the more awkward. All three of the other riders, Katniss, Haymitch, and I, all being in a relationship, tried to fix our stares anywhere but the naked Johanna Mason.

Katniss is staring at the wall with a less than pleased expression on her face. Haymitch loses his battle and switches his gaze between the wall and Johanna. I settle for the ceiling.

"I hate these stupid clothes. They're so tight and restricting." She says shamelessly modeling for us. I close my eyes and try so hard not to punch her in the face. When I next open my eyes she's way too close to Katniss for either of our liking. I produce a small growl. Does this elevator ever stop?

I realize it has. It's stuck. We are stuck in an elevator with naked Johanna Mason. Great.

I close my eyes once more.

"It's much nicer just to let it all loose. Don't you think so 12?"

My eyes snap open and I glare at her. Katniss backs closer to the wall. I'm getting really really angry and being trapped in an elevator doesn't help. I send a look at Haymitch.

"I take back my earlier request." I say to Haymitch. He nods dumbly and seems to get that I'll explain later.

Johanna looks at me and begins to get closer to me. I don't like being trapped in small spaces with naked people. I'm not angry anymore, I'm scared. Johanna gets closer and closer. I feel faint, but I stay strong. I finally can't take it any longer when Johanna is so close that her body brushes mine. I let out a small, scared, childish yelp. I flinch away and close my eyes tighter. I crumble to the ground and Katniss is soon by my side. A few tears trickle down my cheeks. I look up at Johanna, she seems surprised and maybe a little mortified. Haymitch looks surprised too. These people don't know about my father.

"I'm sorry," Is the first thing out of Johanna's mouth. She looks down at her body and begins to dress herself. She is blushing profoundly and I can't help think, she kinda deserves the humiliation. No, she doesn't. Her entire family was killed by Snow. "What did I do that scared her so much?" She asks sadly.

Katniss sighs. "Is it because of?" She asks and I nod. Katniss hugs me close to her and we sit there rocking for a while. Haymitch and Johanna are in the middle of a heated conversation so we leave them be. I regain my self-control a couple minutes later. I swipe the remaining tears out of my eyes and stand up. I offer my hand to Katniss who takes it. I help her up.

Johanna keeps her head down and doesn't say a word. "It's alright, you didn't know." I say, surprising even myself.

"What was that all about?" Haymitch asks.

I sigh. "I don't want to talk about it."

Johanna and Haymitch accept that and the elevator jerks to a start.

"Stupid thing." Haymitch says giving the elevator a kick.

I agree with him. It's caused my a lot of troubles today.

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**(Time jump: Interviews) **

I sit in silence, my heart pounding and sweat dripping down my face. I can't believe Haymitch is making me go through with this plan. This is complete madness. Cashmere is up and I know I'm next. I look over at Katniss, who is wearing, the wedding dress?. I give her a quizzical look. She shrugs at me. We had agreed to get married during the Victory Tour, but since the announcement of the Quarter Quell we hadn't mentioned the wedding. Caeser calls my name and Katniss gives me a thumbs up and a grin. I manage a small smile. She has no idea what I'm about to do. I just hope I don't hurt her.

I take my seat next to Caeser and look at him to begin his torment.

"So, how's your relationship with Katniss going." This is how we're going to start? Damn. I was hoping for some easy questions.

"To be honest, Caeser, not so good." I say and watch Katniss's face fall on the screen. I wince.

Caeser pouts. "Give us some details! What's the problem?"

I shrug and put on my best indifferent face, which is really realistic looking. "It's just not working out. Katniss?" I say to my girlfriend directly.

She gulps and I continue. "Katniss, I'm breaking up with you." I say and the crowds boo's drown out the rest of my words.

Caeser manages to calm the crowd down, but they still whisper among themselves. "Is there a good reason as to why?" Caeser asks. I mentally note to thank this man for his handiness.

"Well, these games are ripping us apart. We were fine until the announcement of the games. I just can't take the relationship with these panic attacks I've been having."

"Well." Caeser scoffs. The buzzer goes off and I shakily stand and go back to my seat, purposely ignoring Katniss's questioning glares. Damn, she knows me too well. I watch as all the tributes go up one by one.

Johanna Mason put on a good show. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. That definitely made up for the elevator. She got a high five on the way back to her seat. Katniss was next.

My girlfriend steps onto the stage, an angry expression on her beautiful face. She closes her eyes and spins. Her wedding dress burns away to reveal a mockingjay dress. She looks beautiful. I try not to ogle as she lifts up her arms and spreads her wings. This is rebellion at it's finest. She doesn't even get to do her interview before a peacekeeper gently shoos her towards the seats. I grin at the peacekeeper, Ario, no doubt. Katniss takes her seat, but has to stand back up when the anthem begins to play. I grip both of the tributes besides me's hands. They give me a quizzical look. I ignore them and hold our hands in the air while the anthem plays. Soon all the tributes are holding hands and then everything goes black.

I hear a few screams and them silence.

* * *

_Hooray! I don't know exactly how long it's been since I've updated, but I'm sorry for the wait. I have a rather painful hangnail on my thumb... :(_

**Please leave reviews! :) And don't forget to check out my Frozen fic! **


	6. Drowning

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 6**

I groan and roll over. Where am I? I can't remember what happened to me. I remember the interview and then the darkness. My head hurts. I make the mistake and open my eyes. Only to yelp at the harsh light in the room. I blink a couple times, trying to get rid of this dizzy feeling. I glance to my left and to my right. The only thing I can see is white curtains. Am I in the hospital? I slowly sit up and pull out the IV that was tugging at my arm. In front of me there is also a white curtain. I raise a brow and clamber out of the uncomfortable bed. I walk over to the white curtain that was in front of me and pull it open.

Outside of the curtain there is only a white hallway. No people. No nothing. I walk down the hallway, my footsteps seem out of place in this silent hall. I pad down the hall until I reach a door were I hear whispers. I slowly open the door, not wanting to startle the people inside. Since when did I become so nice? Katniss. Speak of the devil, Katniss is standing around a table along with Haymitch, Ario, and Plutarch Heavensbee.

"What's going on here?" I ask. Katniss turns to face me and I notice she has a gash on her head above her eye. I rush forward to her. "And what happened to your eye?"

Katniss takes my face in between her hands. "I'm fine. I'm more worried about you. How are you feeling?"

"A little dizzy and I can't remember what happened to me, but other than that good." I answer truthfully.

"After the lights went out, the peacekeepers where sent out to bash the tributes. You got the worst blow." She answers. "And to answer your first question, we are planning our escape."

"What do you have so far?" I ask, peering over her shoulder to look at the map they were crowded around.

Katniss smiles. "Nothing, really."

I snort. "Well, stop staring at me and let's get to it."

The table regains it's whispers and Katniss and I head over to join the huddle. I take my place in between Ario and Katniss. "So we are escaping in the arena. They pushed it back a day to let tributes recover. So I propose we escape using District 3. With help from 7 and 4, of course. What do you say?" Haymitch asks.

"How would we use 3?" I ask.

"They know wires and electricity and stuff, right? So we have them blow the force field that the arena is wrapped in. Plutarch here can get it all set up." He says patting Heavensbee on the shoulder. The man smiles at me.

"So what's the arena going to be like? So we know what we're up against." I ask, very into this planning.

"It's a clock." Plutarch answers. "Every hour brings a new terror. So I'd suggest staying on the beach." He adds with a wink.

I frown. "The beach? I don't know how to swim."

Katniss chuckles from her spot next to me. "Why's that funny?" I ask.

"I can help you with that, Clovey." She says dramatically.

I scowl at her and turn back to Plutarch. "But seriously, can you give us like floaties or something?"

The man nods, in deep thought. "I didn't think about that."

"So how exactly are you going to get all of us? If there is say, 7, tributes left, how are you going to be able to pick all of them up? Those claws take forever to gather people."

Plutarch frowns. "That's are problem. We have to evaluate tributes based on importance. Right now, you two are the most important."

I purse my lips. "Why?"

"Your just popular. And your breaking up thing, due to the games, has rocked the Capitol. They want you two to have a happy life together." Plutarch says, sending a wink our way.

Haymitch chooses this moment to speak up. "So it's almost certain that you and Katniss will _both_ be rescued." He sends a look Plutarch's way.

I growl. "Katniss better get rescued! I could give a rats ass about myself, just get Katniss."

Ario chuckles. I forgot he was besides me. "Told you." He states with a smug look at Haymitch and Plutarch. "Pay up."

They both pull out wallets and hand Ario a twenty each. I frown. "What's that for?"

Katniss chuckles. "Ario bet them that that you would cuss at least once in this arguement."

I frown deeper. "That's not very-"

Ario cuts me off with a look that says 'Shh I got money, I'll punch you if you talk'. I shush.

"_All tributes to the loading dock." _A voice says over the intercom.

I snort, it's like we're animals.

I bid Ario and Plutarch a farewell and head down the long, white hall once more. We reach a split in the hall. There is a sign marking the way to go on the wall.

_Districts 1-6 to the left_

_Districts 7-12 To the right_

I part ways with Katniss and Haymitch and pad down to my loading room. My stylist is there with an outfit for me. Plutarch has already managed to get a floating belt on the suit. My stylist helps me into the suit and pats me on the shoulder, his way of saying good luck. I smile at him and turn to the tube.

_30 seconds. _

You can do this. Save Katniss.

_20 seconds._

I step forward and into the tube, the door shuts firmly behind me.

_10 seconds. _

I close my eyes and feel the tube lurch upwards.

_Prepare to die. _

I open my eyes as soon as the tube jerks to a halt. I look around. I'm surrounded by water. I look around me for Katniss. I can't even see her. They did this on purpose. I pout and then ready myself to jump into the salt water below. I lock my eyes on some nifty looking knives far away from me.

Another countdown begins.

_60...59...58...57...56...55...54...53...52...51...50...49...48...47...46...45...44...43...42...41...40_

I prepare myself to jump into the water. I'm nervous. The belt doesn't help the fact that I have no idea how to swim.

_39...38...37...36...35...34...33...32...31...30...29...28...27...26...25...24...23...22...21...20_

I take a few deep breaths. I spot Haymitch not to far from me. He offers me a reassuring nod. That is not very reassuring.

_19...18...17...16...15...14...13...12...11...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0_

The time seemed to stretch near the end of the countdown. I lunge into the water as soon as the time hits 0. The icy water hits me full force.

My belt pops off. _What?! I can't swim. I'm going to die like this?!_

I sigh underwater and kick a couple of times, only managing to sink myself deeper. I let myself slip deeper into the water. I hit the bottom and look up at the sunshine above me. It's probably the last time I'll ever see it.

* * *

_So sorry,(Not really), for the cliffie! You guys know it's an annoying thing that I do almost every chapter... :P_

**Please leave reviews! :)**


	7. A Whispering Scream

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 7 **

I cough and sputter. My lungs greedily suck in all the air they can get. I cough and gasp for awhile before my brain begins to work again. What exactly happened? I look around me. Katniss, Haymitch, Finnick, Mags, Johanna, Wiress, and Beetee are all assembled around me. I speak first.

"What happened?" I croak out.

"You were drowning. And Lover Girl here pulled you out." Johanna says with a smirk.

"I don't appreciate the nickname, _Johanna." _Katniss says with a scowl.

"Break it up girls!" Haymitch says with a sigh.

I chuckle at Katniss's antics.

"We need to get to the horn. It's getting dark." Finnick says glancing at the waning sun.

"I agree." I add.

"Let's go then." Johanna says.

Mags hops on Finnicks back and he runs towards the horn. Beetee and Wiress follow close behind. They are followed by Haymitch and Johanna. Katniss and I are the last to follow. I slip my arm into Katniss's and we walk arm and arm towards our camp.

"Your soaked." I say to Katniss.

"Yeah, so are you." She fires back.

"Well, you can't just almost drown without getting wet!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, and you can't just save a drowning person without getting wet!" She exclaims back.

"That's not true. Say you have a giant net-" Katniss cuts me off with a kiss.

"I thought I had lost you." She whispers, searching my eyes. I lean my forehead against hers. Our noses brush ever so lightly. "I love you, Clove. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"It's okay Katniss. I'm right here. I'll always be here. I love you." I tell her with genuine love. "I love you so fucking much."

She chuckles at my word choice, but otherwise remains quiet.

"Hey, lovebirds! Get in here!" Johanna yells from inside the horn.

I sigh and break contact with Katniss. "Let's go."

We make our way into the horn. My eyes roam over the supplies we have gathered.

"Here." Haymitch says. He throws me a black vest with knives lining the outside. I grin at him.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Katniss, we got a bow here as well." Haymitch says.

Katniss nods her thanks and pick up her bow.

"I'm more of an ax girl, myself." Johanna says, leaning against the horn.

"Well, that's good for you." I say as I shrug on my vest.

She sends a smirk my way. I walk over to were Katniss is laying out a sleeping bag for the two of us. We'll have to share so the others have their own bags. I help her finish up and by the time we're done everyone else is settling in for the night. I smile at Katniss as we settle in as well.

I lay down next to her, looking up at the silver roofing of the horn. It's like a mirror. I see myself staring back at me. These games won't change who I am. I will. And maybe Katniss will, too.

"Do you ever wonder what it's like to be free?" Katniss asks me with that dreamy tone of voice.

"Of course. But it's just so hard to imagine. I mean, I've never been free so how do I know what it feels like?" I reply.

I feel Katniss shift so that she's looking straight up at her reflection as well.

"Peeta used to talk about not being a just a piece of their games. Until now I didn't understand what he was talking about. I get it now. He didn't want the Capitol to change him. He did a pretty good job. Not really." Katniss says. reflecting on her memories or the boy.

I blink a couple times, unsure of why tears are threatening. "Do you remember Rue?" I ask her, but I'm not sure if she ever even met her since it was all an illusion.

Katniss makes a noise that sounds something like a sob and a cough. "Rue was my ally."

I nod my head. "What happened to her?" I whisper, the tears beginning to spill over.

"Marvel. He-he killed her with his spear before- before I could shoot him." She says and I watch her reflections tears fall.

Katniss and I both turn to face each other and bury our heads into the others shoulders. We stay like this until we fall asleep.

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"Wake up, slugs." A voice whispers above us.

I groan. "Just 5 mooore minutes, Mrs. Everdeeeeen..." I mumble.

I receive a soft kick in the side. "I'm not Mrs. Everdeen. It's Johanna. Now get your lazy butt up!"

I roll over and shake Katniss awake. She groans, but get up as well. I stumble outside. Blinking the light out of my eyes, I hobble over to where the planning is taking place.

"Morning, Sugar." Haymitch says. I scowl at him. He grins. "You learned that from Katniss."

"Learned what?" I growl.

"That scowl." He says with a shrug.

I stick my tongue out at him and find Katniss in the circle. I sit my 'lazy butt' down next to her. I yawn.

"So we should probably wait for the some of the tributes to be wiped out before we do anything with the lightning tree." Beetee says.

"What are we planning to do with the lightning tree anyway?" Finnick asks.

"Well, feel the sand." Beetee says. We all feel it. "It's damp. I got this wire here," He holds up a coil of wire,"We lead the wire from here, in the water, to the lightning tree. We'll wrap it around the tree a couple times and then when the lightning strikes it will blow the beach and anyone who's on it."

"But how do you know that the others will be on it?" I ask.

"Well, if you were able to get here, would you? Their going to come here after they see we've gone." Beetee explains.

Many head nods are seen from the circle.

"It sounds like a plan. Let's just wait for some tributes to die." Johanna says.

I lick my dry lips. "We need some water. There's none here." I say.

_Tink, Tink. Tink, Tink. _A sliver parachute floats down and lands right in my lap.

I shrug and open the chute. I pick up the small note that sits on top off the roll.

_To find water, find shelter. ~Enboria and Lyme_

I laugh and put the note away.

"What did they send you?" Finnick asks, trying to peer into my chute.

I pull out the roll and throw the chute to the side.

"A roll?" Johanna asks.

"Yep!" I exclaim and tear into it. "But not just any roll!"

I pull out a silver... flute? "What's this?" I ask no one in particular.

"It's a spile." Katniss says taking it from me.

I snatch it back and stomp off into the woods. I stick it in a tree and watch water start to dribble out.

_"Clove!" _A frightened sounding Katniss yells from deep in the forest.

"Katniss!" I yell and run in the direction of the scream. The screaming continues on and on. I run through the forest searching frantically for the source. "Katniss!"

I run back towards the horn and see everyone there waiting for me. I run straight towards them and straight into a force field. _NO! _

"Clove! Clove! Clove!" Katniss yells over and over again. It sounds like she's in pain. I begin to cry my eyes out. I cover my ears and fall to the ground. I let out a long, loud scream.

More voices join in. "Clove!" My dead mother calls for me.

"Clove, please!" Prim calls to me.

"CLOVE!" Katniss's scream pierces my heart and tears fall freely now. I'm still screaming.

I curl into a ball and rock back and forth next to the force field screaming and crying.

"I'll save you.. I'll save you... I'll save you." I whimper over and over again.

"Clove!" I hear a quiet scream, but I can't tell who it is. It's just too quiet. It's almost like it's calling to me from somewhere unknown. Someone who I'm not even aware I love. But I know that I will love this person very much. I just need to find out who it is.

Suddenly I'm in Katniss's arms. "Clove, shhh, it's okay."

I throw my arms around her and squeeze her to make sure she's real. "Ka-Katniss."

"It's alright. I'm here now." She whispers. "I'll always be here."

"What happened in there?" Finnick asks me softly.

"T-They were all screaming. They wanted me to help them, but I couldn't!" I cried. "I couldn't!"

"Who? Who was screaming?" Katniss asks me.

"You were. And Prim." Katniss's face goes white. "A-and my mother. And there was someone else, too. I d-don't know w-who though."

"P-Prim?" Katniss asks.

I nod numbly.

"They can't hurt them." Johanna says. "It's the final eight tributes. They need someone to interview. They probably just turned some footage they had of them and twisted it around."

"Can they do that?" Katniss asks Beetee.

He nods. "It's really simple actually."

She breathes a sigh of relief. I do as well.

"What did the person you didn't knows scream sound like?" Katniss asks me.

"It was quiet. Like it wasn't quite here yet. I don't know. But it scared me almost as much as your screams did." I mumble.

"Hmm..." Beetee says behind us.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing.." He replies.

I narrow my eyes at him, but shrug it off. Probably just thinking of a microwave model he can build.

"Let's go back to camp?" I ask. I really just need to get out of this area.

Everyone grunts a yes and begins to walk to the horn.

Haymitch hangs back and tells Katniss to shoo. He pats me on the back and leans in closer to me.

"Your very strong, Sugar. I wish I had your guts." He says then walks away. It leaves me with a idiotic grin on my face.

Yes. I am strong.

* * *

_This one was actually kinda long. I enjoyed writing the screaming scene, plus I got to add in a sort of cliffie that you won't know for some time now. Mwahaha! Hope you enjoyed! _

**Please leave reviews! :) **


	8. Big News

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 8**

I jog over to the horn, the knives on my vest thudding against my chest. I grimace at the what I see, but then I panic. Katniss. I step forward to closer examine the situation. Wiress, the creepy lady who sings a lot, is sprawled across the ground far inside the horn. I narrow my eyes at this. She had earlier refused to go inside the horn because the 'upside down lady' had scared her. Her throat has been slit by a small knife. (I can tell, trust me.) I also note that the horn has been turned a different direction since earlier. I frown and step out of the hunk of silver metal. I squint, looking across the water for any signs of my Katniss.

I hear shouting on the other side of the horn. It sounds faintly like Johanna and Finnick. I jog around the other side, hoping and praying that Katniss is okay. I round the bend and spot Johanna in the water carrying a limp form under her arm. Haymitch comes up behind me, startling me. I look around our group, trying to figure out who the limp form Johanna is carrying is. My blood runs cold as I realize just who this shape is. My Katniss...

"Katniss," I whimper pitifully. I want to jump into the merciless water so bad, but I can't swim. I'd just hold Johanna back even more.

Haymitch pats my shoulder. I guess he's trying to comfort me. Too bad, it's not working. I crouch on the edge of the rocks and wait eagerly to receive my limp Katniss. She has to be okay. Johanna spots my open arms and begins to kick harder, surely looking for relief of her burden. She comes close enough for me to grab Katniss. I take my girlfriend by her arms and haul her out of the cold, dark water. Why didn't she just swim? What happened here? I had a ton of questions, but I only voiced one.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" I ask, holding her dripping wet body.

"Well, first let me see her." Finnick says in his gruff voice. "Oh come on, I'm not going to hurt her. I just want to see what needs to be done." He adds with an eye roll.

I glare at him. "Fine."

He smiles softly and takes my Katniss from my arms. He lays her down, gently, on a smoother bed of rocks. He checks her pulse and then her heartbeat. My own heartbeat might need to be checked. It feels like it's about to either stop completely or beat right out of my chest. Finnick begins to pump up and down with his hands on her chest.

At about this time is when my lip begins to quiver and my eyes begin to water. Then he takes it even further by... kissing her? NOT IN MY PRESENCE! I begin to stomp forward to tell him to knock it off or I'll slit his throat, but then Haymitch stops me with his huge, clammy hands on my shoulders.

"He's not kissing her, Sugar. Calm it. It's called CPR. To help get her breathing again."

My face pales. "She's not already breathing?"

He opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by a gasp. I whip around. Katniss! She's sitting up holding her chest, looking like a drowned rat. Finnick stands off to the side with a proud grin on his face. I run over to a gasping, sputtering Katniss and embrace her tightly. She tries to say something, but is cut off by another round of coughs. I smirk at her.

"May I ask exactly what happened here?" I finally ask, pulling away from Katniss.

"Cashmere, Gloss, and whatever other low life tributes they have on their side tried an attack on us. Only Nuts died. Well, barely only Nuts." Johanna says with a smirk.

I furrow my brow. "So then why is the horn turned and Katniss drowning?" I ask, confused. I ignore her rudeness.

"After they took out Wiress, the gamemakers decided to spin the horn. Turned it right around. Spun it a bunch first." Finnick says, making hand motions with it. "Katniss slipped off the rocks when it was spinning and probably hit her head."

"So then where did the Careers go?" I ask, fully aware that Finnick and I are both considered Careers.

Everyone shrugs, including a very quiet, depressed looking Beetee. I frown. Oh, well. As long as Katniss is OK then I'm perfectly fine with anything else that happens.

I turn my attention back to Katniss, who is now shivering from the cold. I purse my lips and then drag her to her feet. She follows wordlessly. I set her down inside the horn. I wrap a sleeping bag around her shoulders to warm her. She accepts it wordlessly. I drag Wiress's body out of the horn and lay her down in the salt water. I push her off, but not before closing her eyes and wishing her well. I stroll stiffly back inside the horn. I'm surprised when I'm met with a bawling Katniss.

I rush to her. "Katniss, Katniss what's wrong?" I ask hurriedly.

She shakes her head back and forth. "No, no, no. I'm not 'possed ta tell!" She says like she's five again.

"Katniss, please! You have to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it!" I exclaim at her. My voice is raising out of pure fear.

"I can't..." She whispers. She swipes some of the tears from her face and sniffles. "He said not to tell..." She says while drifting off into a hopefully deep sleep.

I freeze. He? Who is this He? Whoever He is He had better watch His back. Because as soon as I find out who He is, I'm coming after Him. And I'm going to kill Him.

* * *

Katniss wakes up in my arms not to long after. She takes a breath and looks around groggily. She frowns at my face.

"I shouldn't have said that." She tells me, utter fear etched across her beautiful features.

"No, I'm glad you told me that." I say firmly. "Now, please, please, I'm begging you, tell me what this He did to you?!" I exclaim.

Her eyes widen. "I don't know what to say..." She mewls, keeping her eyes on the ground.

I scowl at her.

"I know who that quiet scream was you heard!" Katniss blurts out, but then slaps a hand to her mouth.

"Who?" I pry gently. This isn't as bad as she's making it seem.

She looks up at me with teary eyes and look in her eyes. Her eyes hold fear, rejection, distrust, nervousness, betrayal, and lastly a little bit of... love?

"Clove... I don't know how to put this, so I'm just going to say it." She takes a deep breath.

I hold my breath and prepare myself for the worst.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

_Holy KaKaKa! I had this idea in the middle of talking to my step-sister. I zoned out and in 5 seconds I had it all planned. Hooray!_

**Please leave reviews! :)**


	9. Horror

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 9**

"Your what?" I ask. But I already know the answer. My world becomes dizzy and I have to sit back on my heels. I blink multiple times. "W-what? How-how?"

I don't understand. This isn't possible. Katniss's bottom lip quivers and I know she's about to cry.

"Hey, we're going to-" Haymitch starts, "Never mind, we'll be outside." He finishes with a wave.

I sigh. "Katniss, how? That's not even possible..." I say. Unless... No. Katniss wouldn't cheat on me. But she was talking about a 'He'. He told her not to tell... A alarm goes off in my head. That's what my dad used to tell me.

"_Now, Clove. You know better than to tell, right? Remember, don't **ever **tell anyone. Understood?" _

Of course, I would nod.

Katniss looks up at me with those teary eyes.

"He... it...yours...Snow," She begins to ramble, but those are the only words I hear.

"Katniss, slower. I can't understand you. I won't be mad. Just tell me." I plead.

She sighs. "Snow. He said not to tell." She pauses, but then goes on. "It's actually yours. Somehow. Something sciencey. The Capitol genetically infused our DNA or something." She looks down at her hands. "Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I gently grasp her chin and push her head up. I grin. "I love that we're having a baby."

She lets go of a huge breath of air. "Really?" She says, her still watery eyes looking into mine.

"Yep." I say with no hesitation.

_This will be good... I think. _

My grin slowly fades. We're in the Hunger Games. They're not safe.

"We're staying here." I state. "Right here."

"Whyy?" Katniss asks.

"I have to protect you. That's my job." She rolls her eyes and stands. "Hey! Where are you going?" I ask as she exits the horn. Katniss keeps going until I have to chase after her.

I catch up to her in the middle of a group of fellow allies.

"What was all that about?" Haymitch asks as soon as I stop.

Katniss opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.

"It was nothing." I deadpan.

Haymitch smirks. "It didn't look like nothing."

"Well, it was." I say back.

Beetee cuts in. "Guys, stop the petty arguing and pay attention. We're going to start the plan, now."

_Ah, lightning tree time._

He glances around the group to make sure he has everyone's attention and then begins speaking again. "Okay, so when we get to the tree I want to Katniss and Johanna to take the coil of wire and lead it down back here. And Clove, Finnick, Mags, and Haymitch will stay at the tree with me."

"No." I reply.

He raises an eyebrow.

"No, I have to be with Katniss." I confirm.

"Clove, I'll be fine-"

"No, Katniss!" I exclaim and look her right in the eye.

She shuts up.

"Is there a problem?" Finnick asks.

I sigh. "No."

"Good. Then the plan will go as I said before. We leave.. now." Beetee says.

The group begins to jog towards the forest. I hang back a bit with Katniss. I kiss her on the forehead and reach into my pocket.

"Here, I was saving this for a time more important, but since this could be the last time I see you I want you to have it." I say, pulling out a pearl.

She holds out her hands to accept it. I smile softly when I get a glimpse of her charm bracelet that I gave her. The bow and the knife. I gently roll the pearl into her hands. Katniss clutches it to her chest. She gently drops it into the silver parachute that is still clipped to her belt. It'll be safe there.

"I love you, Kat." I say, my voice full of love.

"I love you, too, Clovey." She whispers. Katniss sniffles and then shakes her head. The arena is no place to be crying. I've already cried this Games.

We give each other one last loving glance before taking off after the others.

We reach the group just as they reach the lightning tree. It wasn't as far away as it had seemed. Beetee begins to wrap the wire around the tree with the help of everyone but me. I'm standing guard right now. I lightly hop on my feet. They need to get done soon so we're not zapped. I bite my tongue.

"Done!" Katniss cries.

I let out a breathe of relief. I wordlessly step closer to the tree. Beetee hands the coil to Johanna. She takes it and motions for Katniss to follow. Katniss glances at me, but then obeys. I watch as they stalk off into the forest, Katniss with her bow at the ready.

I let out a sigh. Haymitch pats me on the shoulder. "It'll be fine, Sugar."

"Sure," I say flatly. I have this awful feeling that something is going to go wrong.

Just as that thought crosses my mind, the wire comes snapping back. That means someone cut the wire. My head snap up at an unhealthy speed. Oh god, Katniss.

"Katniss..." I whisper.

Finnick seems to be in the same state of shock I am in. Haymitch pushes me. I stumble forward, but then take off into the forest without a second thought.

"Katniss!" I yell. "Katniss! Katniss! Katniss!" I scream my head off the entire way through the forest.

I crash into a figure that was running the opposite way I was.

"Johanna?" I moan. We hit hard.

"Clove? What are you doing here?" She asks with frightened eyes.

"Looking for Katniss. The wire was cut. Where is she!" I exclaim.

"She's safe trust me." And for some reason, I trust her.

I give Johanna a small smile. The smile quickly dissolves into that of a grimace. Johanna turns around to see what I'm looking at. The lightning tree is ready to lightning. My reactions becomes that of pure horror as I watch an arrow with the wire attached to it fly into the air.

"Katnisssssssss!" I scream, loudly, before a loud boom shakes the arena and I'm thrown back into a thorn bush.

I groan and open my eyes. Pieces of the force field are falling all around me. I turn my head slowly and spot Johanna laying next to me. She's out cold. Katniss? She was so close to the force field.

"Noooo." I groan quietly.

I watch as a hovercraft lifts Johanna from the bush besides me. It takes her into it's belly and comes down to take me. The sliver claws of doom wrap around me and I let them. They lift me to my fate.

I can only hope that this is a rebel craft.

* * *

_Couldn't sleep so I thought I'd update._

**Please, please leave reviews! :) **


	10. Darkness

_This story is gonna take a turn for the darker side now... Sorry? I don't know, but I may? Probably not, have to turn the rating up. _

**_Warning!: The next few chapters contain violence!_**

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 10**

"Wake up, Miss Caraway," A voice calls to me from beyond the thick darkness that has been covering me for the past days. I moan and attempt to open my eyes. I guess my attempts aren't good enough for the voice because only seconds later I feel a sharp stinging on my left cheek. I yelp and bolt straight up. Or at least try to bolt straight up. My eyes blink open warily.

I'm in a dimly lit room. Everything in the room, a wooden chair and an uncomfortable looking bed, look grey in the lighting. My eyes flash down to what I'm being held down by. I'm strapped to yet another bed. My hands and ankles are held by cuffs on every corner of the bed. I'm spread across the bed like an eagle. Now, who was that voice? And why am I all tied up?

"Hello?" I call out.

"Miss Caraway, I'm right here," The familiar voice says.

I move my head the furthest to the left that I can manage, but only spot some white hair. I don't understand why this person is mocking me. I narrow my eyes and try to think back to what happened. At first all I can remember is fuzziness. The memories just won't come to me. The thought that I've had a ton of head injuries comes to mind, though.

"What happened to me?" I ask. Hopefully I can get an answer from this person.

I hear a chuckle from somewhere behind the bed I'm strapped to. "You don't remember?" The voice asks me like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I shake my head, hoping that the truth will give me an answer. "Well, then. I'll just have to let you watch what happened, won't I?"

A image appears on the wall in front of me, lighting the room better. It's me. I watch as Katniss leaves with Johanna. I remember that. Suddenly, the wire snaps back. I remember that, too. I watch myself trample through the forest and straight into Johanna. We hit with a thud. That I remember as well. We exchange a few words, which I remember vaguely. Then a look of horror crosses my face. Why?

The camera cuts to an arrow flying straight into the air. Up, up, up. Until, the arrow pierces the force field and the arena explodes. The screen goes black and white. The TV is shut off and a soft cough is produced from the voice's owner.

"That is what happened to you," He says. I've decided it's a man due to the gruffness of his speech. "Now that you remember, I would like to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?"

_Like I have a choice..._

"That's fine," I croak out, my voice sounds alien and dry.

"Good. Now, did you or did you not know about the rebellion?"

_No hesitation, Clove.. _

"No, what rebellion?" I ask.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" The voice yells, causing me to jump and give a girlish squeal. "I don't like liars. Tell me me the truth, now." I remain quiet. Silence is my best weapon. "Tell me." The voice demands. My silence is frustrating him.

What sounds like a whip is cracked near my face. I flinch, but other wise have no reaction. I bite my lip and prepare myself for the blow that I know is coming. But it doesn't. Instead I hear a whistle. A door is opened and footsteps announce the arrival off several peacekeepers. Murmurs are heard behind me and my mind wanders back to where Katniss is. I hope she made it to District 13.

I'm snapped from my thoughts when my hands and ankles are being unbound. Once my hands have been freed, I reflexively rub my wrists. My eyes flick around the room. There's five peacekeepers standing in a circle around someone and the head peacekeeper of District 12, Thread, all in the room. Thread was the one talking, that's why the voice was familiar. I had tackled him and whipped him with his own whip after he had whipped Katniss after she jumped in the way of Gales whipping. I bite back a smile as I recall his look of fury that I had beat him.

"Somethin' funny to you?" Thread asks me, effectively ruining my flashback.

"Just remembering the time I whipped you. 'Member that?" I retort. This is not a good time for compulsiveness, Clove.

His face screws up with fury and he steps forward as if to whip me, but a hand stops him. Snow. _Now the party's here. _

"Miss Caraway, you are being very rude. I think we shall have you removed from this room and moved to a more...fitting room," Snow says in his evil voice. _Look where your mouth has gotten you now, Clove. _Snow snaps his fingers and three peacekeepers rush forward to grab me. "Maybe next time you'll think before you speak," I hear Snow's ominous promise from behind me. The peacekeepers drag me, quite roughly, down a dirty hall and down a few flights of stairs. Finally, we reach a cell door. A peacekeeper unlocks it with a key. The door protests, but opens. They throw me inside, not bothering to even look back. The door is locked and I'm left alone in darkness.

"Great, now I'm alone and it's dark," I say to myself. What's the harm in talking to myself?

"You're not alone," A familiar female voice says.

"Who's there?" I ask into the darkness. Looks like I've got a friend to be tortured with.

"It's Johanna. Victor of the 71st Hunger Games. Who are you?" She asks. I realize she can't see me.

"It's Clove. One of the two victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Nice to meet you, cell mate," I reply with an unseen smirk.

"They got you?" She asks, the disbelief obvious in her voice.

"Better me than Katniss," I reply quickly. She snorts and I chuckle lightly. "Hey, where are you?" I ask. Now that I have gotten used to the lighting I can see much better, but I can't see Johanna.

"I'm in the corner. Kinda in pain," She says with a laugh. This chick has got to be one of the toughest people I know.

I crawl over to the corner where she lays. I take in the sight before me, barely, it's still dark. Johanna is soaking wet and she has some nasty gashes above her eyes. Her clothing is torn and dripping wet.

"You're really wet."

"That's what he said," She jokes half-heartily. I chuckle lightly as I help her up.

I lay her down on one of the two beds; the bottom bunk. She nods her thanks to me and I strip off my jacket and lay it on her as a makeshift blanket. I leave her to sleep. I climb up to my bunk and flop down on my back, staring up at the moldy ceiling.

"It'll be OK," I say aloud to Johanna.

I think it's more for me than it is for her. God, I'm so screwed. I hope Katniss is better off than me.

* * *

_As I said the next few chapters are gonna be bad. Hope you enjoyed! :)_

**Please leave reviews! :)**


	11. Shock

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 11**

I'm awoken by a pair hands dragging me out of bed by my shoulders. I hit the ground with a soft thud, knocking the wind out of me. I sit up on my elbows and open my eyes.

"Get up you filthy swine!"

I groan and get to my feet. I assess the situation. A peacekeeper is standing in front of me with his helmet off. There's two peacekeepers guarding the entrance to the cell. A soaking wet Johanna is cowering in the corner, rocking back and forth. Again? Why do they keep doing this to her? I wonder what my cruel punishment will be. The peacekeeper grabs my arm and pulls me into the hallway. I glance back just in time to see a peacekeeper close the cell door. I'm drug into a room and thrown into a chair. The head peacekeeper sets to work on cuffing my hands and ankles to the chair. Once he is finished he stands back to admire his work. He comes really close to my face, to close for my liking. On impulse I spit in his face. He cries out in surprise and hops back a few feet. He glares at me before stomping out of the room. He returns with none other that President Snow himself. Snow takes a seat in the chair in front of me.

"Hello, Miss Caraway. Nice to see you again," He says with a pause, "Are you ready to tell us if you know about the rebellion?"

I stay silent. They will get nothing out of me. Snow grins evilly and with a flick of his wrist the head peacekeeper is brought forth. He's holding a whip, a needle, and a vile of something.

"If you don't tell us Linnix here will inject you with tracker jacker venom and whip you," Snow says glancing from Linnix to me.

I gulp, but make no attempt to answer his question. Snow grimaces and motions for Linnix to inject and whip me. Linnix smile evilly at me and slowly opens the cap on the vile. He slips the needle into the vile and sucks up the liquid. I wonder what visions I will have this time. He takes slow, agonizing steps towards me. He reaches the chair in which I'm held prisoner. I take a deep breath of air.

"Now you might feel a slight pinch," Linnix says to mock me.

I scowl at him. He wasn't lying, the needle does pinch me. The venom instantly enters my veins and I'm engulfed into a horrifying vision. Suddenly a body plunges into the room we're in. It's hanging from a noose, swaying gently in the breeze. Wait, a breeze, we're inside. No, we're at my tree house. I walk up to the body and turn it around, curios to see whose committed suicide. The body turns to face me. It's Katniss. My Katniss. And inside her is OUR baby. I hear an evil chuckle and my father and Snow appear behind me. My father grabs me and holds me back while Snow steps closer and closer to MY Katniss and MY baby. I twist my fathers arm and turn around to face him. I use a technique I had learned from a movie I had once watched. S.I.N.G.

"Stomach!" I yell as I punch him in the stomach. "Instep!" I sing as I stomp on his foot, hard. "Nose!" I yelp, punching him in the nose. "GROIN!" I scream in victory as he crumples to the ground with the groin shot. I hurl myself at Snow and pin him down. I produce a knife, magically, from my pocket and slit his throat. "You're dead! You can't hurt me or Katniss anymore!" I scream. Katniss wakes from her sleep and smiles at me. She unties herself from the noose and-

I'm snapped from my vision when I feel a harsh sting on stomach. I scream in pain. My eyes snap open and I take in the situation all around me. Several peacekeepers are in the room staring at me like they've just seen a dragon juggling two goats. I lower my eyes to my stomach, which is cut open and bleeding heavily. Linnix is panting heavily on the ground besides me. Snow looks shocked. What did I do?

"Take her to her cell," Snow orders once he's gotten his voice back. A couple peacekeepers grab me and one hoists me over his shoulder. Wow, I must have really done something bad. The peacekeeper sets me gently in my cell. Probably doesn't want to get on my bad side. I pout and go to the corner where Johanna is still cowering.

"What they do to you?" She asks weakly, nodding to myself.

I grimace. "They injected me with tracker jacker venom. Then whipped me, a lot. I must have done something while under influence," This earns a laugh from Johanna,"because they all looked really shocked and Snow ordered me back here."

She nods her head.

"What exactly do they do to you?" I ask.

"They drown me out. Recently they've been giving me electric shocks as well," She says with a frown. "Snow's mad because I refuse to speak at all."

I laugh. "Same here. I'm not giving them a single hint about what I know," I say,"Or don't know," I add with a wink. "Now," I say looking down to my blood soaked shirt and still bleeding stomach,"I need to take care of this."

I stand up and wince at the pain. I shuffle over to the small toilet area they give us. I peer into the dirty mirror, which I can barely see myself in, and spit on my reflection. This is not who I am. I'm a fighter, and I will fight. I bare my teeth and open the medicine cabinet, hoping to find some gauze. As I expected it is empty, save the cobweb in the corner. I sigh and close the cabinet. Hobbling, I make my way over to the bottom bunk.

"Hey, Johanna?" I call out into the darkness.

"Yeah?" She answers back quietly.

"Would you mind sharing bottom bunk tonight?" I ask, embarrassed. There is no way I'm going to be able to get on the top bunk. Since there's no ladder and all.

"No," She whispers. I hear some scuffling as Johanna comes closer. "Would you mind taking the outside?"

"Not at all. After all, it is your bunk," I say allowing her to climb in first. She settles in facing the hard, cold wall. I lay down next to her, careful not to move to fast. I don't want to disturb my wounds. "Can you tell me a story?" I ask childishly.

"Sure," I'm surprised when she whispers back. "Once upon a time there was a little girl. This little girl had a very happy family. She had two little brothers and a little sister. She had parents who loved each other dearly. Her life was perfect. Until, one day, a blizzard rocked her home. Her house wasn't very sturdy. Her siblings were freezing! So she had to go out into the blizzard to get blankets. She went straight to the market. Once she got there she had to fight for the blankets. But she won. She was a fighter that one." Johanna chuckles, but goes on. "Only once she returned to her home, her family was gone. Were had they gone in the midst of such a storm, she wondered. So she wandered around the grounds for a while. She decided to head to the town hall. There she found her family. All rounded up in a pen. Like cattle. She watched as gasoline was dumped all around them, and on them. She screamed and she fought the evil people, but it was too late. She was too late. She was forced to watch as her family burned and screamed. It was all her fault.." Johanna's voice crackles with remorse at the end.

I flip around to face her and pull her into a hug. "That wasn't the girls fault. She did everything she could. It was the blizzards fault. And you know that." I say, but then add,"Remember who the real enemy is."

She laughs ruefully at my rebellion joke. "Goodnight, Clove. Thanks for being here."

I smile softly. "Goodnight. And no problem."

* * *

_Like? I know, I know that Clovehanna friendship dough! BTW I made up Clovehanna. Don't worry, it won't be but a few chapters before Cloveniss is back._

**Please leave reviews! :) **


	12. The Rescue

**(TIME SKIP!: Don't worry, it's only 2 weeks later) **

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 12**

The torture was never ending. Everyday it was get up, get questioned, injection, and then get whipped out of an awful vision. And everyday they seemed more and more surprised after they whipped me out of my visions. I think they were starting to get frustrated with me. Me and Johanna had been separated a week ago, with no explanation. My visions were usually about Katniss dying and me killing Snow.

I yawned painfully and snapped awake. There was shouting outside my cell door. Something bad was going to happen I can feel it. A angry looking Linnix rushes into my cell, giving me no time to think before he drags me off my bunk. I had been choosing to lay on top bunk since I felt safer there. Linnix throws me to the ground and gives me a swift kick to the stomach. I grunt. Not anything I wasn't used to. He grabs me by my collar and drags me out of the cell, slamming the door behind us. I squirm around in his grasp. The concrete floor was making my knees bleed as he dragged me down the long corridor. I wiggle until I'm on my butt being dragged. I sigh in relief, this is much better. Linnix must have heard my sigh, because he lets go of my collar causing my head to painfully crack against the concrete. He laughs and begins to pull me again. Linnix gives a small chuckle as he opens a door to a room labeled: 'Torturetorium'.

I grunt and try to wiggle out of his grasp. I can't think about what will happen in this room. Linnix ignores my wiggling and continues into the room, locking the door behind him. Whimpering, I crawl to the corner of the room. Linnix just laughs at my effort and strides across the room towards me. He pulls my head up to face his by my hair, causing me to scream.

Looking me right in the eyes he says, "You're going to die today. Right here. In this very room. And I'm going to make it slow and painful. We know you know something. When you give up just say the word."

I stay completely silent. I've learned that it is so much better to not speak at all. And if I have to die because of it, then so be it. I put on my brave front and prepare myself for the next few hours or so. Linnix sighs, in frustration I think. My eyes flick up to meet his and I give him my most firey glare. He won't forget me. I spit on him, hitting him right in between the eyes. He just wipes it off, though. I do this all the time. He has gotten used to my saliva. I'm going to need to put up a better fight than this.

Suddenly, there is a searing pain in my left side. I scream in pain. It's so overwhelming. What's he doing to me? Glancing down, I find he has a device held to my side. It looks to be electric. I feel really bad for Johanna now. He smirks at my pain, but stops the burning sensation. I force myself to relax. What can I do to stop this? A few moments later the burning sensation is back. This time I'm ready for it, and I only grunt in pain. He scowls before walking over to a large table. He takes his time looking over all the different choices, before selecting something and walking back over to my weak form.

"Do you know what this is?" He asks, holding up a thing that looks like a wrench. I shake my head. "This goes around your neck," He says pointing to a strap. Linnix carefully straps the wrench-like thing to my neck. One end pushes into under my chin and the other my chest. It forces me to keep my head up or I will be stabbed by the ends of it. "Now don't move," He scolds.

I sit up carefully and scowl at his retreating figure. What's he getting now? He walks back over to me and holds up the electric device he had been holding earlier. He smiles a shark-like smile when my eyes widen with fear and realization. This is the death of me. Well. I close my eyes as he draws nearer. He won't get the satisfaction of seeing the life leave my eyes. I lay down, flat on my back. The zap enters my body and I jerk with electricity. I will not die, I will not die, I repeat this mantra in my head over and over again. He seems to be frustrated that I haven't been skewered yet, because he pushes harder. I still so not jerk forward enough to die. The wrench has begin to draw blood from my chin, but that wasn't that bad. He leaves my side and I prepare myself for the pain that I know is coming.

Minutes pass and I relax, hoping that he's not coming back. But as soon as I open my eyes, I'm immersed into the pain that can only be caused by a whip. I scream and jerk forward. Mistake. The wrench goes deeper into my chin. I'm gasping for air now, and blood fills my mouth. I'm going to die. Death by wrench. Damn. I roll my tongue around and swallow some blood, but it keeps pouring back into my mouth. My eyes are still closed, he will not get the joy. He will not get anything from this, other than my death, of course.

I hear some shouting and gunshots from in the hall. Linnix sprints to the door and tries to blockade it, but some... troops? break through. I turn my head carefully to see what is happening. They are pointing guns at Linnix. Linnix says something and one of the troops shoot him. The troops motion for medics to come in. I close my eyes. I feel the wrench carefully unstrapped and tiny hands pressing gauze to my chin. I open one eye, lazily. Prim?

Prim is pushing the gauze into my neck, watching my face carefully for a reaction. I smile softly. I love Prim. She's just so lovable. No wonder Katniss volunteered for her. I would have too. She furrows her brows in concentration. I laugh at the amount of work she is putting into this. She smiles faintly at me before returning to work.

"I need some string guys to carry her out," Prim orders quietly.

"She'll live?" Some guy asked as he picked me up, carrying me like a baby pressed to his chest.

"Of course I will," I rasp out. "I'm a fighter."

Prim smiles and so does the guy carrying me. Wait, I know him from somewhere.

"Ario!" I exclaim. "You have got to stop saving me." I say. Talking is really painful, but I don't care.

He chuckles and hands me off to a medic waiting in a hovercraft. "It's my job to save you."

I'm set down carefully in the hovercraft as medics fuss over my condition. My mind is else where, however. I'm thinking about what Ario said. Was he just kidding or had someone hired him to protect me? Probably just joking.

We arrive at District 13 a few hours later. I'm rushed to the hospital wing and put into surgery. I'm out cold.

* * *

When I wake my chin feels stiff and when I go to move my head a nurse swats my arm.

"No moving for an hour or two!"

I roll my eyes and glance around the room, to the best of my abilities. My eyes rest on a single flower in the corner of the room.

"Would you like us to allow visitors now?" The nurse asks making me jump.

"Yeah, that would be good." I say. My voice is all raspy and croaky. I don't like it.

The nurse nods and exits the room. I begin to relax a few minutes after she's gone. I get comfortable in the room and in the nice bed. (Since I had been sleeping on concrete for 3 weeks this was amazing.) No sooner than I get completely relaxed am I bombarded by Katniss.

"Oh Clove! Clovey.. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry!" She practically yells. And to my horror she begins to bawl. "It's my fault! I shouldn't have blown up the dome. I'm so stupid. I thought I had lost you. I thought I lost you!" She says falling asleep next to me.

I raise a questioning brow at the nurse when Katniss begins snoring.

"She hasn't slept in days. She barely gets sleep when she does." The nurse explains quietly. "I'll leave you be. If you need anything just yell."

I pat a sleeping Katniss on the head and fell my eyelids begin to droop. No I'm not tired! My brain argues. Yes, yes I'm very tired. I lay my head down on the pillow. I feel Katniss burrow deeper into my chest and smile. I fall asleep just like that. A smile on my face.

Because I'm finally back where I belong.

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_:) Hope you enjoyed. Here's the link to the torture device: _

**Please leave reviews! :)**


	13. I Love You So Freaking Much

_Sorry for the lack of updating, my dog was sick. We had to put her down today. So I'm venting. Sorry for the turn for the worse..._

**Death, Despair, and Depression Chapter 13**

I wake up slowly, groaning and aching from the stiffness of my body. I still when I realize that a larger body is on top of me. I begin to tremble in fear. What happened? I glance around the room nervously. I'm in a hospital room. But I'm not sick? I poke my head up to see whose on top of me. It's Katniss. I groan and stick my head in my hands. Why is she so much heavier from the last time that I saw her? Geez, she needs to get some exercise. My brain works hard on any possible reason as to why Katniss hasn't been doing any thing to stay in shape. From what I hear she hasn't been eating or sleeping well. I squint my eyes. Why can't I remember anything? I try to think back to what happened in the games, but for some reason I can't. Suddenly, an image pops into my head.

I shoot straight up, startling Katniss awake. My head whips around to look at her. She rubs her tired eyes and turns to look at me. She gives me a lazy smile and goes to hug me. I flinch away from her. She frowns and looks slightly hurt, which in turn makes me feel a little bad. But feeling bad is pushed aside. I can't forgive her. Not after what she's done. She grins at me again, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Murderer," I whisper. Her grin instantly vanishes. The croak in my voice from not speaking in a while is the only thing that hides my anger. How dare she!? I open my mouth as wide as it can go and let out a ear piercing scream. Katniss jumps back, falling off the bed. Her hands fly to her ears. She scrambles off the ground right before a team of nurses rush in. They gently push Katniss out of the way. The injured look on her face makes me cackle wildly. I begin to roll around on the bed, thrashing the covers about. The nurses struggle to get control over me while Katniss looks on in horror. I laugh and kick my feet into the air. The nurses finally get a good hold on me. My arm is strapped to the bed by a leather cuff. Oh no. Not this again. This time it's my face that contorts into that of horror. My eyes fly to the one cuff they've managed to get on. I notice now that there is four cuffs in all, around the bed. I fight against the nurses on my left side until I break free and am standing on the left side of the bed. My right arm is still cuffed. I tug at the cuff until a voice shouting breaks into the chaos.

"Hey! Uncuff her immediately!" A deep voice bellows. The nurse oblige and release me from my horrifying predicament. Haymitch parts his way through the crowd of nurses before waving them away. The nurses do as he says and walk out of the room, their heads down. Left alone in the room with Haymitch and Katniss, I back into the corner rubbing my wrists. "Tell me what happened," He asks Katniss.

"Well, I woke up to her sitting straight up. I thought maybe she had a nightmare and didn't want to talk about it. So then I went to hug her and she flinched away. And I was hurt, you know. But then she was all like, murderer. And I have no idea what she is talking about. Wait, yeah, I'm a murderer, but she is too!" Katniss rambles on. Haymitch holds up a hand to make her stop and she does.

"Can we know what they did to you?" He asks turning to face me. I quickly shake my head. If they knew they could use it against me. "We just want to help."

"I don't believe you," I croak out, still shaken from my encounter with the cuffs.

"Okay then," Haymitch says with a sigh and runs his hand through his stringy hair, "Can you tell us why your afraid of Katniss. Because we don't understand."

I weigh my choices. If I give them information they may leave me be, but they might use it against me. If I don't they might hurt me, or worse kill me.

"Fine." I hiss. "Back in the arena a couple days ago, Katniss, the others, and I were going to the lightning tree. Katniss and Johanna were supposed to run the wire down to the beach, but then someone cut the wire. I run through the forest because I thought Katniss was hurt. And when I got to were the wire coil was, all that was there was some blood. So I ran back to the lightning tree and there was Katniss standing in the middle of our allies dead bodies. She was laughing. And then she blew up the arena and-and somehow I ended up here."

Katniss looks at me as if I've just told the worlds funniest yo mama joke and Haymitch looks shocked.

"I can prove that wrong right now," Haymitch says.

"How?" I retort.

"Well, look at me. Was I dead in that little mirage?" He asks with a smug look on his face.

"Well, yeah," I say confused. "What did they do to me?" I ask. I'm scared as hell now.

"I'm guessing they altered your memory," Haymitch says. "Which reminds me, what did they do to you there."

I gulp. I guess I have to tell them. Since they HAVE to be telling the truth about the Capitol doing this to me. "Well, at first they just asked me a bunch of questions about the rebellion. I never told them anything, just sat there. So when I wouldn't tell them after a day or two, they started to whip me. It hurt, yeah, but it was worth it to keep Katniss safe. Then they started to inject me with tracker jacker venom. It was awful. I would always have visions of Katniss being killed. And they always whipped me to snap me out of it. As the days wore on, they seemed to get agitated with me. I guess the venom wasn't doing what it was supposed to. But anyways, yesterday Linnix, a peacekeeper, dragged me out of my cell. He took me to the torturatoriom. Then he shocked me with an electric thing. It hurt a lot. He laughed at my pain. And t-then he took a wrench thing and strapped it to my neck. One sharp end was digging into my chest and the other the bottom of my chin. After a couple of minutes I began to relax. He took back out the shock device and when I jerked, the wrench stabbed my chin."

Yeah, that's what happened. That's really real. I'm suddenly brought into a hug by none other than Katniss.

"I'm sorry if your still afraid of me, but I need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Says a blubbering Katniss.

I force myself to relax and pat her gently on the back. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I'm not mad or afraid. I love you too much to lose sight of our love."

"Even when they inject you with tracker jacker venom to make you afraid of me?" Katniss asks looking up at me with those big grey, watery eyes that I love so much.

"Even when they inject me with tracker jacker venom to make me afraid of you," I say back to her, gently tapping the tip of her cute little nose.

She sniffles. "I love you so freaking much."

I smile widely. "I love you so freaking much too."

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_An update :) Sorry it's so late :P_

**Please leave reviews! :)**


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